1st post after 2 months

Goodness, I am beginning to loose myself here in blogger land. I have been so active on Facebook that I didn't feel nothing missing when I am online. Life has been great, Natalie is already walking on her own and that is quite a relieve for my arms. She is much more manageable now as she approaches into toddler stage. Though she is growing very well, I am still constantly worrying for her in many many ways. Like has she taken her nap? Has she drink her milk? Is she eating well? 

Recently I found out that my maid has been giving Natalie her milk while she is sleeping. Yes, I meant Dream Feed, for mothers who knows what that mean. I have never disagree with dream feeding Natalie when she sleeps for the night and gives her last feed to last her till morning. But little did I know that my maid took this to her own convenience and does all her milk feeding while Natalie takes her naps in the day! My maid confessed that it has been like that for about 2 months since Nat turned 1 yr old. 

The problem now is that Natalie is rejecting all her milk feeds when she is awake. I tried to change her habit back for the past 2 days but she screamed and pushed the milk bottle away all the time. She has not been drinking since then.... Luckily she is on regular 3 meals, porridge, noddles, mee suah etc But I cannot let her go without milk at such a tender age! Sigh... sometimes I really blamed myself for all these. I have not been a good mother as I chose work over looking after her full time. I really have myself to blame. 

I should not have pinned high hopes on maid to take really good care of my baby. I shouldn't have.... I got really mad when I found out what she did, I should have been more vigilant! Everyone tells me to change maid, but I really have no confidence in looking for another one. 

Hope when tomorrow comes, Natalie will be more receptive towards milk feeds, WHILE SHE IS AWAKE!